Marriage

 

menvsboys

 This days, when we talk about relationship and marriages, the speaker will have to be  more explicit, sometime, he or she may need to be as basic and fundamental in explaining the type of relationships or marriage is perspective.

Objectively, things are different today, socially, psychologically and morally, many definition will have to be tested, re-examined and validated. One of such is human relationship(Relationship, Parenting and Marriage). There is relationship between parents, parents an children, families members, partners, emotional, physical, and many more. Therefore, it is essential for us to define our purpose. 

This discussion is about Relationship between Male & Female couple or marriage between same. We do not believe in emotional Relationships/Marriages between same sex, however, this does not undermine physical (non emotional) friendship between friends of same sex or otherwise.

Any Marriage that does not start and end with friendship will not last. So, relationship is the first step, through this, you will know each other, we will understand each other’s differences, appreciate  and celebrate each others personality, love each other, correct, rebuke and support your partners.

This does not need to be for a specified period of time, it needs not be months or years, the most important thing is ‘Getting full knowledge & understanding of each other as much as possible‘. I have seen people who only knew each other for weeks and they got married, and they are doing fine. I also know couples who knew each other for many years before marriage, unfortunately they could not ‘be together’.

Like i said earlier, ‘the reason why men stay outside with friends rather than come home after work’, is because they prefer friendship to marriage’. What i mean by that is, men are always looking for friends, if they can find one in you, their spouses or their wives, you have just won him over.

All wives must concentrate on having a relationship with their husbands and vice versa, this is the way to keep your home. I used to go out a lot until my wife got this key, and it clicked. I used to see marriage as if i was trapped or my freedom taken, but the day my wife and I i became ‘friends’ i got so re-leaved and marriage started making more sense to me.

Although i had known my wife for many year before we married, after marriage, i discovered ( assumed i knew her without actually ascertaining if i did. But immediately we started having some challenges, i started looking out to the company of my friends. Friends always makes sense more to men, more so when his home is not conducive. 

The same problem we used to have in those days that seemed like it was unsolvable those days, when we have same now we laugh over it and handle the issues as friends. As friends we will not fight over issue the same way other people do. We are partners in solving issues, partners in gossip, partner managing our crises. As friends, we are both determined to manage our crises, how to and when to start administering effective management skills. We both determined to succeed at whatever cost.

We learn from our mistakes and errors, we correct each other in truth and love, even it hurt us, we always seat and talk. We agreed together, never t lye to each other, no matter what happens, and we watch over what we say to do it, our blessed kids also  know that, myself and my wive speak with one voice.

Marriage is easier and sweeter if the husband and the wife are determined to work together at all cost.

PROBLEMS SHOULD NOT BREAK YOUR LOVE:

 

EXTERNAL FORCES SHOULD NOT COME IN BETWEEN

Families:

Friends:

What you hear:

Whatever happened outside your home:

 

MONEY SHOULD NOT COME BETWEEN YOU:

Money- in:

Money-out:

 

PERSONAL SELF INTEREST SHOULD NOT COME BETWEEN YOU:

Personal ambition & Goal: This is a major concern in many marriages, because it stirs up competition between the couples. Sometime the man may set a goal to build a house or  buy one, while the woman’s view might be different, other times it could be, the wife want to further her education and the husband have a contrary opinion. Or it could be as simple as the wife want the children to go to particular hospital or use a particular G.P clinic and the husband might have a different idea.

This has been a major issues with marriage, however it becomes worse if you cannot manage the issue and it escalates. The concept of marrying each other, male and female, is to try and agree on some fundamentals, ‘my persona disappeared after i married my wife, my ideas, my goals & ambition, my this and that’. I realized the concept of ‘out goals and ambition, our this and that’. The highlighted concept here is, ‘mine’ has changed to ‘ours’.

You as a man or a woman do not have any tangible or acceptable excuse morally why you should not carry you partner’s interest in you heart as you both make decision about any issues in life, particularly when it’s something that directly affects your relationship or marriage.

The most common problem i have encountered in my counselling clinic has been situation where the couple both have ambitious projects individually, they both want to do their M.Sc at the same time, but unfortunately they only have enough money between then to sponsor one person. And it can be more that just the way i have explained it, the crux of marital problem is the inability of both couple to mature(grow-up) to handle/manage the  

 

 

 

YOUR PARTNER’S WEAKNESS SHOULD NOT BE AN EXCUSE

 

FAILURE OR LACK OF SUCCESS, JOB LOSS SHOULD NOT BREAK YOU

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT SOCIAL NETWORKING IS DOING TO MARRIAGES

Brenda’s heart ached. Her husband, a youth pastor, had been arrested. The problem behind it all was even worse than the arrest itself — he had an uncontrollable sexual addiction.

Frank didn’t see it coming. His job kept him on the road a lot, but he thought his relationship with his wife — a Sunday school teacher — was fine. He didn’t know his wife’s casual conversations about religion in a Christian chat room had grown into an affair, until she announced she was leaving him.

Are you facing a similar tragedy? Are you still in shock after finding a stash of on-line porn or has your spouse’s daily online time grown from a few minutes into a few hours? Is he online later and later into the night? Is she increasingly irritable when you question her Internet use?

Many families are threatened by time their spouses spends ‘studying on Facebook’, or searching for recruitment agencies or business partners of Facebook and others.

 


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